Archives for posts with tag: blended family

Hello everyone!!! I am so excited to be starting this blog because anytime I find something that helps me or benefits my life, I want to share it with other people!!! ! So, I have created this page which will provide a hodge podge of information on anything from parenting to cooking, oils to blended families, children to psychology. If I experience something in my work, family, personal life, I will share it here in hopes that it benefits someone else. Sometimes I come up with the simplest ideas that I really don’t think someone else wouldn’t think of and then I share it with someone and they say, “oh wow, that’s clever, I never though of that” or “thanks, I am going to try that”. So, if I find a tip or a life hack or just a simple solution to make a busy, working mama’s day easier, then I will share it here. Thank you for tuning in and stay tuned for more!!

So, I have been meaning to start this blog for some time now but the daily tasks of life just seem to have interfered. It was always something I put off and said…. “I will do it tomorrow or this weekend, or next month or when I am on maternity leave after my next child arrives”….whaaaat?!?!?! Yea right….I obviously had no idea (or was in complete denial) of truly how much less time I would have for me once my second child was here. So, here I am my second child is here and is 4 months old and now I am finally beginning this blog.

I really needed to force myself to sit down and do this because it crosses my mind so often but as I said…other things always got in the way. I had to really think back to my original motivation for this blog and the moment that finally put me over the edge a few months ago and seemed like a sign to me….to finally start blogging. I work as a school psychologist for a public school district and part of my assignment covers pre-school classes. As it goes with preschoolers, they say whatever is on their mind and sometimes it is the slap in the face that you need to get yourself moving on something you have been procrastinating for some time.

So, I was in one my preschool classrooms quite a few months ago now, playing a letter game with some students and the picture representing letter Q was that of an older aged, not very attractive and sort of mean looking, queen. So when the letter Q came up and I directed one of the little girls to take the letter as she had the picture on her card, she replied “that isn’t a queen, it is an evil step-mom”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?! I couldn’t believe it, how did she come up with this frame of reference for a step-mom, I know the little girl doesn’t come from a family with an “evil” step-mother so how did she come to form this schema for a step-mom. So I took a deep breath, put my bruised ego aside and really began thinking about why she would see an image like that and automatically think….”evil step-mom”.

All of my thoughts pointed to the Disney movies that innocent children are exposed to which form a lot of their early thoughts about various things in life. Now, my own daughter is beginning to get into the princesses and many of the Disney movies and having to sit through these movies again being older and wiser and now, a step-mom I am more aware of why this little girl in my class was thinking as she was. Have you ever noticed that Disney movies never, ever portray the step-mothers in a positive light, historically. The current hit show, “Sophia The First” definitely does a better job of showing Sophia’s mother as a positive, loving step-mother to Sophia’s step brother and sister so at least we are evolving. But I am talking about the earlier hits….Cinderella, Snow White, etc., etc. I will stop and say that Mothers as a whole, step or otherwise or not really represented in a positive manner in most Disney movies. They are either absent or deceased and when they are deceased….enter, the evil step-mother. She is always evil… she ever nice, loving, kind, supportive of her step-children??? The answer is no, the step-mothers lock them away forcing them to isolate, try to poison them, show preferential treatment for their own children…etc, etc. The whole thing is so sad to me and it was even more disheartening to hear that these movies have affected the thoughts of these impressionable children allowing them to form this horrible opinion of a step-mother. It makes me wonder what negative images and thoughts my step-daughter’s friends might have about me whenever she shares stories about me. It really makes me upset and that is why I have started this blog (finally!!!!!). I am here to break down those horrible representations that children may have of a step-mother. I am here to help other step-moms know that this is not an easy job and it’s ok if you struggle with it monthly, weekly or even daily. I am here to say that the choice to marry a man with children from previous relationship really adds a different dynamic to your relationship and your marriage and all the feelings that, that brings on are normal and ok. It is really how you handle the feelings that are most important. But most importantly, I am here to say that “NOT ALL STEP-MOMS ARE CREATED EVIL” and I want you to remember that so much that I am making it the title of this blog. I am willing to share my life as a step-mom with you, on this blog because as I said… is not an easy job and when we are struggling sometimes we just need a friend we can relate to, to help us through and I can be that friend to you.
Here for you always, 
Just an average, loving, kind, supportive, step-mom.